Sex the Secret Gate to Eden

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Dec 11, 2013 (3 years and 6 months ago)


Sex the Secret Gate to Eden

Alchemy, a Free Online Course

The Secret of Azoth


Recorded Lecture:

Enlightenment is Hidden in Sex

An illustration of alchemy from 17th century Europe.

Many who try to become spiritually awakened are unaware that sex is essential for
enlightenment. To awaken
consciousness in its

return to its origin is a long process, which
cannot be done without using sexual energy and understanding sex and sexual desires.

Not knowing about these desires is to be unaware of the creative power of life, and being
enslaved by th
em is spiritually detrimental. To understand sex requires self
participation in the process of enlightenment, and using sexual energy in the exercise of alchemy.

This exercise has been referred to in many sacred texts and teachings: as Tantris
m in Hinduism
and Buddhism, alchemy in medieval Europe, HeQi (which means “joining energy”) in the
Taoism of ancient China, and the bridal chamber in early Christian texts.

Alchemical symbols can be found throughout religious artwork, and in every genuine
teaching. For example, the sexual energy that is raised up the spine is known as kundalini in
Hinduism, and is depicted as a serpent in ancient Egypt crowning the forehead of the Pharaohs.
The spiritual bodies created in alchemy are referred to as

“bodies of gold” in ancient Egypt and
“wedding garments” by Jesus. The hermetic glass of the alchemist and holy grail are symbols of
the feminine womb and sexual organs. The sexual energies were often symbolically referred to
as water and wine, and have b
een alluded to as “the waters of life” and baptism. Depictions of
couples in spiritual intercourse can be found throughout medieval alchemical texts, and in
Buddhism and Hinduism. Very few of these references are overt

most are symbolic and only
, which was done to protect this sacred and intimate practice known as “the Holy of
Holies”, usually only given to those who had proven themselves pure enough, from abuse and
persecution by the profane and sexually degenerate.

The following quotes from ear
ly Christian, Taoist, and Hindu texts refer to the practice of

Tibetan Buddhist depiction of alchemy from the 17th century.

If the woman had not separated from the man, she should not die with the man. His separation
became the beginning of deat
h. Because of this, Christ came to repair the separation, which was
from the beginning, and again unite the two, and to give life to those who died as a result of the
separation, and unite them. But the woman is united to her husband in the bridal chamber.

Indeed, those who have united in the bridal chamber will no longer be separated.

~ The Gospel of Phillip from the Nag Hammadi Library

Baptism is “the Holy” building. Redemption is the “Holy of the Holy”. “The Holy of the Holies”
is the bridal chamber. Bap
tism includes the resurrection and the redemption; the redemption
(takes place) in the bridal chamber.

~ The Gospel of Phillip from the Nag Hammadi Library

O Mother [Kali], he who, being a controller of his passions, eats haviṣyānnaṁ [pure ritual food],
d, being proficient in meditation on Thy feet, rightly recites Thy mantra a hundred thousand
times by day, and he who afterwards naked at night, when united with his Śakti [spouse], rightly
recites Thy great mantra another such hundred thousand times, beco
mes on earth like unto the
Destroyer of Smara [who is the god Shiva].

~ The Hymn to Kali

To achieve the highest levels of life, one must continually combine new levels of yin and yang…
Because higher and higher unions of yin and yang are necessary for the
conception of higher life,
some students may be instructed in the art of dual cultivation, in which yin and yang are directly
integrated in the tai chi of sexual intercourse.

~ The Hua Hu Ching

In alchemy the creative energy, through the transmutation of f
orces, builds spiritual parts within
and enables the higher aspects of consciousness to merge with ordinary consciousness in the
process of enlightenment.

If you try to awaken without alchemy you will either continue with the same kinds of sexual
or repress them and become celibate

neither of these will lead to awakening. A Taoist
text states that the practice of alchemy is key to any kind of spiritual progress:

“This is the reason that all the sages began their work at the germinal vesicle in wh
outflowing [of sexual energy, which is orgasm] had ceased. If one does not establish this path,
but sets up other things, it is of no avail. Therefore all the schools and sects which do not know
that the ruling principle of consciousness and life is in

this germinal vesicle, and which therefore
seek it in the outer world, can accomplish nothing despite all their efforts to find it outside.”

~ The Secret of the Golden Flower

The Hindu goddess Kali working with the awakened sexual fire of a united coupl

Fire is fought with fire by using the sexual energy to convert a base energy within into spiritual
energy with alchemical transmutation. If you try to awaken without it, you’ll find that sexual
desires are an overwhelming force that are too strong to de
al with. And the sexual force can even
be the cause of the loss of spiritual awakening.

“Those that are desirous of acquiring virtue practise diverse kinds of rites according to the
dictates of the scriptures. They do not, however, succeed in attaining to
Emancipation… That
which is called Brahmacharya [chastity] is regarded as the means of attaining to Brahma [God].
That is the foremost of all religions. It is by the practice of that religion that one obtains the
highest end (viz., Emancipation)… Brahmacha
rya is exceedingly difficult to practise. Listen now
to the means (by which one may practise it). That regenerate person who betakes himself to it
should subdue the quality of lust as soon as it begins to manifest itself or as soon as it begins to
be power

~ The Mahabharata

On the surface lust is a natural process that contributes to the reproduction of the species, but the
process of enlightenment runs under the surface

it is hidden and esoteric. So too are the
processes of sex when it comes to spirit
uality. The energy of the spirit, of consciousness, is
sexual in its nature, but its energy is different to that of lust and is incompatible with it. You
either have one or the other, but not both.

“Arjuna asked:
My Lord! Tell me, what is it that drives a
man to sin, even against his will and as
if by compulsion?

Lord Shri Krishna:
It is desire, it is aversion, born of passion. Desire consumes and corrupts
everything. It is man’s greatest enemy.”

~ The Bhagavad Gita

“The gates of hell are three: lust, wrath

and avarice. They destroy the Self. Avoid them. These
are the gates which lead to darkness; if a man avoid them he will ensure his own welfare, and in
the end will attain his liberation. But he who neglects the commands of the scriptures, and
follows the
promptings of passion, he does not attain perfection, happiness or the final goal.”

~ Krishna, The Bhagavad Gita

So to get to the things of the spirit, we have to sacrifice the ego states of lust, but that is not to be
celibate as spiritual energies are th
e result of a conversion of basic sexual energy, which requires
alchemy. In alchemy the basic energies of sex are converted into clean, pure spiritual energy.
While they are dirty and lustful, their energy feeds desires, taking their own shape and form,
ltiplying and enslaving pleasurably.

“The Yellow Emperor addressed a question to Su Nu saying: “If I were to refrain for a long time
from intercourse, what would be the result?” Su Nu answered: That would be a grave mistake.
Heaven and earth have their ope
ning and closing, and yin and yang their activities and
transformations. Man must conform to yin and yang and follow the four seasons. If you were to
abstain from intercourse, your spirit would have no opportunity for expansiveness, and yin and
yang would
be blocked and cut off from one another. How could you thus strengthen yourself?
You must cultivate your ch’i through frequent practice and “eliminate the old while absorbing
the new” to improve yourself. If the “jade stalk” does not stir, it dies in its l
air. So you must
engage frequently in intercourse as a way of exercising the body. To be aroused but not ejaculate
is what is called “returning the Ching.” When the Ching is returned to benefit the body, then the
tao of life has been realized.”

~ Su Nu Chi

Many alchemical symbols appear in this medieval illustration: the philosopher’s stone, the grail,
waters, lingam, and caduceus of Mercury.

To create the spiritual within, the nature of the energies has to be changed and purified by
transmutation. Then, as their nature is different, they create the inner person anew,
rather than being used in their lustful form to create physical bodies.

“The energy of the kidneys is under the water sign. When the desires are stirred, it runs
, is directed outward, and creates children. If, in the moment of release, it is not
allowed to flow outward, but is led back by the energy of thought so that it penetrates the
crucible of the Creative, and refreshes heart and body and nourishes them, that

also is the
flowing method. Therefore it is said, The Way of the Elixir of Life depends entirely on
the backward
flowing method.”

~ A description of Tantrism from the Taoist text The Secret of the Golden Flower

“The seed of your body need not ent
er the body of woman to create life; for the power of the
angel of Earth can create the life of the spiritual within, as well as the life of the body without.”

~ Jesus, The Essene Gospel of Peace

One night in the astral plane I met a spiritual Being, one w
ho was helping me along the spiritual
path. We were on a beach, and I asked him, “What can you tell me about lust?” He held up his
hand and then turned it over and opened it; it was full of grains of sand. When I saw this, I
understood that there are lots
and lots of egos of lust. I had asked about lust as one thing, but
there are so many different egos of lust, just like grains of sand.

The understanding of sex is part of a greater spiritual work to reach enlightenment, it does not
exist in isolation from
it. The process of awakening often gets classified into separate boxes such
as astral projection, self
knowledge, alchemy, and so on, but they’re all part of the one
awakening; the different parts form a whole process. Each deserves study and attention, bu
t to
return to source consciousness you must keep sight of the real goal which is to create yourself
anew. Creation was through sex; enlightenment is that process in reverse, and the return to
oneness is also through sex.

“Except a man be born of water and

of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

Marvel not that I
said unto thee, Ye must be born again.”

~ Jesus, in John 3:1
7 from the Bible

The following

quote beautifully describes the spiritual nature of alchemical union:

A person’s approach to sexuality is a sign of his level of evolution.

Unevolved persons practice ordinary sexual intercourse.

Placing all emphasis upon the sexual organs, they neglect t
he body’s other organs and systems.
Whatever physical energy is accumulated is summarily discharged, and the subtle energies are
similarly dissipated and disordered.

It is a great backward leap.

For those who aspire to the higher realms of living, there is

angelic dual cultivation.

Because every portion of the body, mind, and spirit yearns for the integration of yin and yang,
angelic intercourse is led by the spirit rather than the sexual organs. Where ordinary intercourse
is effortful, angelic cultivation
is calm, relaxed, quiet, and natural.

Where ordinary intercourse unites sex organs with sex organs, angelic cultivation unites spirit
with spirit, mind with mind, and every cell of one body with every cell of the other body.

Culminating not in dissolution
but in integration, it is an opportunity for a man and woman to
mutually transform and uplift each other into the realm of bliss and wholeness.

The sacred ways of angelic intercourse are taught only by one who has himself achieved total
energy integration,

and taught only to students who follow the Integral Way with profound
devotion, seeking to purify and pacify the entire world along with their own being.

However, if your virtue is especially radiant, it can be possible to open a pathway to the subtle
lm and receive these celestial teachings directly from the immortals.

~ The Hua Hu Ching

Questions and Answers on Alchemy

Alchemy is the process through which the inner spiritual psychological nature is fundamentally

it’s transformed from one
of an ordinary person into one of higher consciousness.

It has been taught in secret throughout history and was referred to in symbolic language, such as
“the bridal chamber” in ancient Christianity, and as turning lead into gold in medieval times. It is
lluded to in religions throughout the world. For example, an alchemical exercise of sexual
transmutation was taught in ancient Egypt.

It is extremely sacred and was called in early Christianity “the holy of holies.” Most of the
symbols of Christianity are
alchemical and have similarities with symbols in other religions.
Baptism for example is found not only in Christianity, but in Hinduism too, as is the cross.

Once you understand what the symbols refer to, you will be able to spot them throughout the
ngs and depictions of different cultures and times.

The Gospel of Phillip

is full of references to sex as a sacred act, as alchemy is a sexual process
that uses the creative force of the union between male and female. That is where creation takes
place; it
’s only in sex. Creating within requires sex; it’s impossible to fundamentally alter the
human psychology and become spiritual without it. Instead of sex with orgasm, which creates
physical bodies, the sacred sexual union has no orgasm and creates instead
spiritual bodies.

Orgasm keeps humanity in the abyss; sacred alchemy puts an individual into heaven.

Alchemy changes the beast of orgasm into a true man, then into a Christian, then the Christian
dies and becomes a Christ.

A true man is a person (whether m
ale or female) who has created five of their solar bodies. A
Christian is a man who has incarnated the Christ. The man who has incarnated the Christ must
die to themselves and be completely integrated with the Christ

that is when they become a


My question is in reference to awareness

when practicing alchemy, how exactly does it

does it just become stronger, or is it a super awareness or something?

Alchemy strengthens awareness. It also changes the energies inside, and in the practice it
self you
can ask for the disintegration of an ego you have understood.

With alchemy, you can feel spiritual forces and perceive in a way that you cannot without it; you
are building the internal parts which allow the spiritual to come into you.

In the
beginning though, it cleans the energies inside, it repairs internal psychological structures
and multi
dimensional bodies which could be damaged or weak, and it gets everything in
balance. And then, it gives enormous strength to the essence, the conscious
ness, and it’s that
strength that allows you to push forward and to do further things spiritually.

Alchemy is the door to the awakening, one of the three fundamental keys to the return to the
Absolute. It’s essential to have it. It’s what transforms; it’s
the creative energy.

Without alchemical transformation and creation going on inside, a person stays basically the
same. They may just be more aware from day
day, from moment
moment, or more
concentrated, but without alchemy, they will never fundament
ally change inside. The more
alchemy is practiced, the more the change inside. Alchemy changes the very nature of
consciousness, of the spiritual within, and that gives the impetus and the spiritual strength to
move forward and progress spiritually.

is the most important thing to do to get alchemy right? Because sometimes people try it for
a long time, but still cannot quite see how it works.

The most important thing to get alchemy right depends on what’s wrong with it. It’s a matter of
seeing what’s
wrong and correcting it. It can be different things for different people, but to make
it work, it needs to be regular and consistent. So the first thing would be to get to that right, and
then if there are problems in getting to a regular and consistent pr
actice, try to see what they are.

Relationships are complicated. They involve an interaction of two different people, and there are
lots of things to overcome to make alchemy work really well. It’s a matter of seeing what the
particular problems are.

practicing alchemy, if your concentration isn’t 100 percent during the different
transmutation parts, how effective is it?

It’s still very effective, but concentration improves it.

Just doing the process is doing what’s required to get the alchemical proce
ss working. But if
you’re concentrated then you make everything esoteric function better. In transmutation you
more effectively direct the energies to the heart, to the essence, and in the transmutation exercise
afterwards you can get into the Illuminated
Void, and you strengthen the essence more. But the
actual exercise is effective just by doing it.

Regarding physical attraction to a partner and like the normal sensations that you would feel,
like during intimacy

how do you differentiate that from egos in

the sexual center?

In the beginning it’s very difficult to, because everything is so mixed up. What you need to
watch out for though is the mind. You can know that lust is present if you see it in your mind. If
you see it operating in thoughts or images,
then you know lust is there.

Just use the normal attraction in order to practice alchemy, without worrying too much about it.
Later on then you get into the different aspects of lust, and as the sexual energies clean, it
becomes clearer as to what the diff
erent egos and spiritual parts are. But in the beginning, just
work in alchemy with the sexual attraction, the sexual energies.

It has been said that the true death is through the transmutation and that the death in motion is
only to slow down the ego and
to eliminate the defects with little strength. I don’t practice the
death much when doing alchemy, so I was wondering if I should practice it more often?

It has also been said that its best to practice the birth more in the alchemy, and then to get rid of
the egos with the death in motion. However, if you practice the death in motion in daily life and
alchemy well, you’ll eventually you get to the point where you know what you need most, until
then you can try practicing both equally.

The birth refers to a
practice in alchemy that creates the solar bodies and raises the Kundalini.
The death in alchemy is another practice which uses the sexual force to destroy an ego. The birth
is never done in the same practice as the death as they are different forces.

ld we perhaps practice the death with the alchemy once a month?

Do it as you feel, you can get a feeling for the amount that you actually need to practice the death
in alchemy, and the amount that you need to do the birth. Once a month is not much at all,
so you
should have a look and see really what you need to do.

How can we distinguish between egos of lust and the erotic energies?

Until the truly spiritual energies appear, what you need to look for are egos of lust in the mind,
because lust will manifest

through the mind.

In the practice of alchemy should the transmutation of the energies be seven times?

No, it should be more than that; sense what you need.

We have

the mantras IAO and Kandil Bandil Rrr. Is one of those mantras connected to the
ion of the egos more or less? Is it IAO that is used for the death of the egos?

No, with the death of the egos you just ask the
divine Mother to disintegrate the ego and imagine her doing so.

What shape do the energies have when they travel up the spine?


as the caduceus of mercury; it goes three and a half times around the spinal column. The
important thing is to visualize it very well, because when you do it has more effect. The
visualization helps the energy to come up to the brain and be transmuted

Concerning alchemy, how can someone overcome the lack of erotic feelings with their partner?

There can be many different reasons for that. The thing is to see what the reasons are, and then to
tackle the specific issues.

Could you say something about
getting rid of egos and attracting a partner for the alchemy?

If you change inside you change the things that happen in external life and many things you
attract or are drawn to are because of affinity, much of which changes as you change. The other
is karma, so if you are getting rid of your egos, you are changing the karma you have to
pay, opening up new situations and opportunities.

If you are for the inner work, then you can attract a partner who is more suitable for the work. If
you don’t die to
the egos, you attract a like partner too, but the affinity is likely to be based
around egos. When one person is dying to their egos, and another person is not, then the one who
is not dying to the egos can put off the one who is.

So if someone is single,
they should change, become more active, pay karma, help humanity, and
die to their egos

then they will open up the right kinds of opportunities for their inner work, as
the right kind of partner comes by right from the divine law. Passively sitting around
and waiting
is not going to achieve much.

Lust is a force which blinds; you must have a sharp sense of perception to be able to take the
right step, which you get with the inner death and chastity, which is not to be confused with

What is your op
inion as to whether we should eat meat or not?

Red meat helps the fire for alchemy. But there’s a lot of cruelty in the production of meat, with
battery caged chickens, animals being brought up in tiny cages, and things like that. We should
really try to a
void these kinds of things; we don’t need to contribute to cruelty.

Since we don’t where the meat comes from?

You could try to find out, generally though a cow lives in a field and veal is in a crate, so once
you find out, you usually don’t need to keep lo
oking, because you know where it comes from,
like sheep in a field, unless you suspect there are reasons for you to look further.

Nature itself can be pretty grotesque, very harsh. Look at the way that animals live; it puts them
in a struggle for survival

if they are not being eaten by another animal, then they are eating
another animal. This is a continuous struggle, and one of the reasons why it’s better to be
liberated and freed from nature.

Some schools say that eating the blood of an animal increases t
he egos.

There are other things that increase the egos. That makes no difference.

Q: I’ve been observing lust and have seen it working in seemingly unrelated thoughts and
feelings. There are times when it can seem very strong and overpowering and I wonder
how I

fight against it, but there were many other situations where I could see it subtly behind
virtually every ego, and in other people too. I’m realizing just how strong lust actually is; it’s
really, really strong.

When you study lust you’ll find y
ou uncover desires of huge proportions, with many different
aspects. But you learn about yourself as you uncover what’s there, you become aware of desires
that have a grip on you, which you didn’t know about, and that is a very important step.

I guess we c
an learn even in the times that we don’t necessarily succeed if we have the will to
correct those things when the next time comes.

Yes, except that failure in itself is not any kind of success

sometimes failure is just failure. It’s
worth paying attentio
n to what you consider to be OK or what you allow, and see whether you
have the mentality of thinking that although a battle is lost today, you’ll try again tomorrow.
Very often that just covers up weakness, or invites it, and by the time tomorrow arrives,

lose the battle again. You have to be able to know the cunning ways of the mind.

From my investigation the thing that stayed with me has to do with sexual energies, sexuality and
sexual attraction compared with lust. I’ve been trying to have a refe
rence in my mind of pure
sexual energy when I practice alchemy with my partner.

If you’re not careful, that will become an idea in the mind and that kind of idea can actually harm
the practice of alchemy, because every time you bring an idea into alchemy,
you can knock out
the practice; it’s very tricky. So in alchemy it’s best to forget about that kind of thing, because
the difference between lust and sex in the actual attraction is very difficult to perceive in the
beginning. And if you have ideas in your

mind, you’ll knock out the actual attraction, and ruin
the practice of alchemy you are doing. So clear any idea like that out of your mind, because they
will interfere with the practice. Be aware that lust can manifest in thought in the practice of
y. Watch out for it without dwelling on what you are thinking about either, because that
too can knock out the flow in the practice of alchemy.

Alchemy uses sexual attraction and the sexual energies. Jesus was crucified with one thief either
side of him. T
he cross is a sexual symbol, depicting the phallus in the uterus; to die on the cross
is symbolic, as his life was. One thief was good and the other bad. The good thief represents
taking the sexual energy in the practice of alchemy and stealing it for the
good, for the use of the
spirit, while the bad thief represents the theft of the energies when used for pleasure. Now, if you
cut off the energy for some reason with thought, you can ruin the practice and you won’t have
energy for the good thief to steal a
nd you’ll be stuck. In alchemy, it’s worth knowing how the
good thief works to take the energy.

I find one of the biggest obstacles in facing lust is a lack of understanding. Sometimes a lustful
thought or feeling can be present, but without understanding. I feel that my efforts to die to it are
in some way superficial because at a more subtle level
I am still caught up in it. I’m wondering if
any tips could be offered on this?

To understand the need to work on lust in a spiritual sense you have to do a spiritual work using
the correct techniques, and thereby gain experience. From that you will get wh
at you need to be
able to see things clearly. When you can see clearly what’s going on inside yourself in relation to
sex and the whole of your psychological makeup and life, then you’ll understand your place in it
and the purpose of sex.

If you look at th
is as a purely physical thing, as though nothing esoteric exists, you won’t
understand what the spiritual purpose of sex is, apart from procreating the species and
reproducing. To understand it fully, you need to be carrying out an esoteric work, studying
yourself, changing, exploring within, and exploring other dimensions and planes of life. Then
you’ll get the motivation to work on it, because you understand the reasons why you should
purify and change yourself, and why you should attain spiritual awakeni

With alchemy, I start to see the changes that happen, how it affects the psyche. You can get clear,
and see changes happening; you can see them in your dreams and you know that things are
progressing properly, but at a certain point in the day you make

a mistake

an ego is fed in that
deep dark unconscious place, and in dreams at night you find yourself in a terrible place and you
know you fail and your work just falls back. It happens repeatedly and you just lose where you
are within the work, and it
just becomes a sort of limbo that takes a lot of hard effort to get back
out of.

Yes, but if you keep trying, you’ll uncover more and more layers of the subconscious. That can
take time

you can get stuck on one ego, one desire for some time. It can be demo
ralizing, but if
you keep persisting with it, you can overcome it to a degree. Then you’ll get to the next layer,
where it will be difficult again. But it’s another layer of the subconscious you probably didn’t
even know existed, which brings you knowledge

about yourself.

Because there are so many different egos of lust and many different layers of the subconscious in
which they work

it will seem as though it’s an unending task. But over time you’ll see that you
get increasing knowledge about the different
kinds of egos of lust, and the ways they work and
manifest, and then you’ll start to overcome them. This is all part of getting self
knowledge: to
acquire self
knowledge you have to extract light from darkness, and this is the darkness that
you’re seeing.
You’re seeing into the things that make up your psyche, and you’re getting
knowledge about them.

Don’t feel demoralized

if you get knocked down, then get back up and keep going and keep
getting knowledge. This is how you progress, but don’t get demoralized

by it and don’t stay in a
rut where you feel as though you can’t move on, because by going through these things, by going
into the layers of the subconscious in dreams and sometimes out
body experiences, you are
doing the work

as long as you die to y
ourself inwardly that is. You’re studying yourself in the
physical world where you can see the different egos and die to them and can work in alchemy, so
then in your dreams you will be put through various regions of the subconscious to be able to see
different egos, and that’s how it works. Some people might have the illusion that by being
spiritual you somehow cut yourself off from everything in your subconscious, from everything
that’s lustful and bad, and that you must suppress it and keep it down,
or that it’s fine to have
lustful desires anyway

but if you did that you wouldn’t get knowledge of it, nor would you
overcome it, or transform it; you would only be suppressing it and suffering from its repression.

Don’t get demoralized when you get stuck
on something, even though it might feel impossible to
budge it. I was working on a defect of lust for some time and it seemed impossible to understand
it, but at one point I really thought I had succeeded and had overcome it in the physical world.

that same night while in the astral plane I was in a room, standing front of a spiritual
being. He was sitting at a table, and I went up to him and said, “I’ve overcome it,” and he just
looked at me piercingly and said, “Tomorrow”; that’s all he said. The
n, the next day in the
physical world a situation arose and I found I couldn’t overcome that ego

I overcame it at a
later time. It goes to show that it’s part of the spiritual work, and it’s by trying, by making
sacrifices and exploring, that you actuall
y progress. I wasn’t there before that spiritual being
because I had done nothing. It was because I was struggling greatly with that desire. I could have
been completely demoralized from it, but I had to keep going. There’s no other way but to

dy yourself with the purpose of awakening. You may find that there are parts of the spiritual
work you are particularly interested in, such as self
knowledge, astral travel, or meditation, and
may feel that some areas are going well or badly, but it’s real
ly how you progress spiritually
which counts

that’s the main thing. It’s inevitable to struggle against certain things, but aim for
enlightenment, and work towards it. You always have to have that as your goal, and the goal gets
clearer as you go along.
If you feel a longing to awaken, hold onto it of when things get difficult
and use it as a beacon to look towards. Persist with your work, even though you may sometimes
feel you have lost the way, as awakening itself is a very difficult thing to do; it’s e
difficult to go against what you have inside yourself.

To have just a tiny light of consciousness within that’s struggling to wake up, facing the
opposition of the subconscious desires of the psyche, the forces of nature, and the values of other
people, is a very difficult task. But don’t lose sight of the goal of awakening

this is the most
important thing to do in life. Try to do whatever you can to get those spiritual feelings active, to
activate your essence, which brings about its spiritual ye
arning, so that the longing to awaken
can propel you to awaken and you have everything that it brings and gives. Develop the yearning
of the essence with spiritual exercises and strengthen your consciousness, which is the spiritual
part within: develop it
until it becomes the dominant aspect of your psyche, convert the
subconscious into consciousness, leave behind what is not spiritual, and transform yourself and

Sexual Desires and Inner Darkness

Sexual attraction is a force like a magnet, althoug
h it’s usually called lust, it’s important to
distinguish between the sexual drive and ego states of lust, which are a multiplicity of different
desires stemming from the original drive. Egos of lust keep multiplying and changing in their
nature and are pr
etty much everything which is sexual which is not the basic attraction

Sexual desires are created and multiply when that basic force of attraction gets into the mind
(and the mind being not just thoughts, but the whole psychology). Because sexual energy is

creative, egos of lust multiply in many different ways, forming all kinds of variations of sex.

Because lust gets into the mind, then thoughts generate sexual feelings, and sexual feelings bring
about further thoughts and images. This is all part of the c
omplexity which is created when the
sexual energy goes beyond that basic attraction.

Enlightenment is creation in reverse. To become enlightened the sexual force needs to be cleaned
of the multiplicity of sexual desires (egos of lust) and it returns to the

pure sexual force of
attraction. To become aware of what desires you have, watch the mind and anything that’s going
on which is beyond the basic magnetic attraction, then you’ll see the different kinds of forms of
lust. To change any inner state, you must

first see it, become aware of it, and then die to it

Alchemy is the only practice that can fundamentally alter the sexual make up of the psyche. I
once saw a video of some monks who would spend years meditating…I felt sorry for them
because they

don’t have the sexual work to be able to fundamentally change what they are. So
they can meditate all they like, they can attain quietness in the mind, complete stillness, but they
will not change the actual nature of what they are. And to really awaken i
n this fullest sense, they
need to use the sexual energies with the practice of alchemy.

I remember you mentioning that when you investigated lust in other dimensions you found it to
be the root of all egos. Does this mean that lust, in a sexual sense, som
ehow plays a part in
everything that we do, think, and feel, or is lust meant in a more general sense as in a driving
desire for something

perhaps money, food, or physical objects for example? Or if I dig deeper
and observe more closely I’ll eventually fin
d that the desire for food or money somehow has a
sexually lustful side to it?

Desires, the energies of the mind, thoughts, and feelings

all stem from sexual energy. And so
every thought is modified sexual energy. I say sex rather than lust, because everyt
hing within is
modified sexual energy. That energy creates and forms the basis for thoughts, feelings, emotions,
and the whole of one’s psychological life. You can read all the books you like, but you will not
understand yourself if you don’t understand se

Sometimes strong sensations in the sexual center appear as if out of nowhere, not seemingly
provoked by lustful emotions or thoughts, and that feed mainly fear. These sensations can hang
around a long time and the death doesn’t seem to work very well on

them. I suspect these are
causing havoc in my dreams. Are these just strong egos of lust? Is it just a matter of observing
more closely to see their causes or working more with the death so it becomes more effective on

Lust goes into many different
areas of psychology. It permeates everything; it permeates all
thought, all feeling, and it works in the subconscious. So it can arise of its own accord, it can
arise when you least expect it. But it has precise triggers

precise things which spark it off.

It can be very subtle and can create images and atmospheres, it can link itself to atmospheres and
environments, it can create mental images and forms from even these, and when in that
environment in ordinary life, sexual desires (egos of lust) can crop up
. And in dreams there can
be various environments in which the dreamer finds themselves, where they are caught up in
lustful thoughts, images, sensations, actions, and so on. This is because it permeates all avenues
of the psyche.

Exploring it is not an ea
sy thing, because it requires precise observation in the three
everyday world, you also need to maintain your self
observation if you are in the astral plane,
and when you wake up from dreams, try to remember them, as you’re likely to see sexua
l desires
in those too. In this way you get to form a picture of lust and how it works. And as you go deeper
into it, as you observe more, you’ll find the different layers and the various places that you go to
in dreams. And you’ll uncover so much and see
even the representations of the forms of lust,
which crystallize and take their own shape and their own life externally from the individual,
because sexual energy is creative energy, and the things which are brought out of it and created
from it will then
latch on to environments in their own dimension, which are felt here in the
physical counterpart of that dimension.

So it takes acute observation in the three
dimensional world and a gradual clearing of the various
“selves,” states, desires of lust to be a
ble to get into the deeper levels which bring up things from
the subconscious which you don’t know existed or you don’t see, and which usually appear with
a feeling. The practices of alchemy and inner death help to clear the subconscious of those
desires a
nd helps to get into their esoteric side, where you are able to uncover the roots of desires
as they are happening and to see their nature, what creates them, what sustains them, and how to
get rid of them.

Is it possible for you to share with us more what

helped you to realize the degree of harm that
lust brings to human lives, how it becomes the very root of selfishness and inner darkness?

Most people think that lust is fine

it brings pleasure and reproduces the species, and therefore,
how could it possib
ly be wrong or harmful? But when you explore deeper, you begin to see its
effects, which go right into the psyche. And you will find that sex is both the root of spiritual
awakening and personal degeneration. Lustful sexual desire is an enslaving force. It
’s has
enslaved the whole of humanity; it’s caught everybody by its desire, and it twists and turns, and
alters, changes the whole nature of the individual or aspects of the individual. I didn’t like being
a slave to something or having a desire which cont
rolled me and so I wanted to be free of it.

And as I studied within myself I began to see how I worked psychologically and how lust
worked. I began to study the mechanisms, and I also began to explore out
body experiences
so that I could see that there
was life beyond this world. And as part of this, I wanted to explore
what was my greatest enslavement

which was lust.

And I remember in one of the first out
body experiences that I had, I came out of my body
just on the bed in my bedroom and I looked ar
ound and there was this figure which I now know
to be Lucifer, you know with the horns

it actually symbolizes something other than the devil;
it’s the tempter, the light bearer

and he made apparent an ego of lust that I had been seeing on a
daily basis, an
d I could do no other than just be lost in that sexual desire. I couldn’t fight it or
anything, it felt almost like it tricked me. And then I looked in the mirror which I had in the
bedroom, and to my astonishment, I found myself (just in the reflection of

the mirror) in a
wheelchair, looking really sick and ill. And I knew that from feeding that sexual desire, that was
the result upon my consciousness, on my essence.

And so I knew very early on when I began to study myself that sex was a huge force to try
understand and overcome, to break this enslavement. And as I would study more, I would see
more and more of the various forms of lust and the various ways that it operated, and I began to
look into them and to change. It’s through alchemy that I really
had the means to overcome
them, and through the various stages along the spiritual path, particularly as the higher spiritual
forces came into me. The choice then became clear between the pleasure of lust and spiritual
bliss. Fortunately, as I persisted al
ong the path, the spiritual feelings eventually became so
strong, they helped to combat the pleasure of lust.

Now, lustful desire brings things to itself, it brings form to itself, to the individual who it lives in,
and this binds the individual to the wor
ld, to matter, to form. And this lustful energy in itself is
also then bound into inferior regions, which is the abyss, through the coccyx bone. And an
energy goes down

you can’t see this physically, you see it when out of the body, occasionally
you might

this goes down right into the earth. It forms the Kundabuffer, which has been
represented in many cultures as the tail of demons.

And in the earth in different dimensions there are lower regions, and in these lower regions there
are the energies within the

person’s own psyche. And they go on various levels down until you
get at its densest, which is where the root of lust lies. It’s called the Seat of Satan, and the world
revolves around it; it’s a point of the densest energy (at that central point is also
infinity, and the
point from which an individual ascends esoterically). It has its internal counterpart for the
individual and for the world. And the energy from the dense abyss goes up and as it goes up it
gathers its form, and its energies from the corre
sponding regions of vileness as it rises up. It goes
eventually into the coccyx bone of the individual and then permeates the psyche from there. And
that psyche then has the effect of being hypnotized.

So it’s not just that there are desires within the individual, in thoughts, emotions, and so on,
which are modified sexual energy in themselves and which feed from the sexual center, but that
various states keep being pushed out and fed and sustained from
the energy coming from the
coccyx bone and all the influence of the abyss that’s being brought with it. And so because of
this, the psyche becomes hypnotized and caught in an illusion. And these energies come at a
rapid rate, so the different selves, or eg
os, come in and out of the person rapidly; some are
sustained, as they feed off the persons energy.

Now, the thoughts, emotions, and feelings are fed from sexual energy, and when there is not
enough, when the energy is used up in too much thinking, physica
l activity and emotions, it has
to come from somewhere, because there’s only a certain amount. That energy is taken from the
sexual center. That energy which was taken is not pure, it has sexual energy made lower by
sexual desires in it, which then brings
increasing sexual thoughts, as lust permeates the thoughts.
So when someone thinks, then they soon start to think about sex. That then takes its food from
the sexual centre again (draining it in the process) because it’s a sexual thought, and the energy
comes pulled from the intellect to the sexual center. When the sexual centre has its energy
taken it gets it back from other centers, such as thoughts, instincts and emotions, its energy
comes back in a low mixed up state.

And this process makes a person f
eel really heavy, low, miserable and dense. And suffering from
this, lust becomes all
powerful, because the entire energies of the psyche are permeated with
lust. All the energies of thoughts and emotions are all permeated with it. And lust then is
ed with thoughts and emotions, because they all start stealing from each other, and all get
mixed in. And the more they mix in and the more that they are churned around, the heavier, the
denser the inner states become; plus you’ve got this force coming fro
m the coccyx and pouring
out these heavy forms and energies, and then the whole of the human psyche is polluted,
hypnotized and altered.

What you find in practical terms from this is that emotions become compulsive, you can’t stop
thinking, or daydreaming,

and lust becomes extremely strong and enslaving. And this is the state
of humanity. This is how people are in the world, all of your neighbors, your friends, your
colleagues, the people on the other side of the world

they’re all like this.

Meditating, bei
ng quiet, aware and still, helps to a degree because it does stop or minimize the
interchange of energies from one part of the psyche (centre) to another, but it does not change the
nature of the energies themselves, which are already polluted and dirty


just quiets them

At night the energies of the centers and the physical body all recuperate and recover, a new day
starts with each center reasonably recharged with its energies. If you stay aware and die to egos
in the centers then you maintain each

center of the psyche with its own energies. These energies
are cleaner and carry less sexual desire, the cleanliness of these psychic centers determines how
‘spiritual’ you feel. Being clear psychically consciousness can manifest better in the psyche,
isturbed by lower energies. And in this state, with the help of alchemy, you can carry out a
work to awaken, as it’s a surplus of clean energy which is needed as the basic energy to be
transmuted to create solar spiritual bodies

to create oneself anew sp
iritually. If there is no
surplus, only low, heavy, miserable energy, there is a lack of material for transformation.

Each day brings its opportunities to spend the energies of the psyche wisely, and to use them for
awakening, or to spend them in lower sta
tes. The psychic centers (thoughts, emotions, etc) can
be kept clear and clean for the whole day, but as soon as they get mixed up, you have to struggle
to become aware. So you prevent them from getting mixed up by being as aware as you can
through the day

from the time that you get up, while you still have energies.

But that in itself doesn’t change the nature of the energies themselves, because they are still at a
certain standard or level, and still the energy from the coccyx bone is coming up, so it bec
omes a
very difficult fight, and this is where alchemy comes in. Alchemy changes the nature of the
energies and stops the energy from rising to the coccyx bone by facilitating the awakening of the

So the psyche, in its ordinary state is hypnotiz
ed, it is submerged in the subconscious and is
therefore in darkness, because all these lower states and the hypnotic effects, don’t allow a
person to be aware, to see reality, to be here. The consciousness, which is the root of what a
person really is, is

then in darkness. And the darkness is all the different states, is all the
modified energy. Every single feeling, thought, emotion

this is the darkness. And the darkness
is connected to the bigger darkness, from the energy in a different dimension that go
es from the
brain, through the spine down into to the coccyx bone and into the interior of the earth, which is
the abyss, and the human being like this is bound by lust and sex, and doesn’t have the means to
do anything about it without inner death and alc
hemy. This is the issue, the human being is
enslaved without alchemy, and lives in darkness, they can’t see, because the psyche is
hypnotized. In itself it is that darkness.

Each ego traps a fragment of consciousness, most is trapped in this way, as you ge
t rid of each
ego the tiny part of consciousness in it is freed and joins the already free amount, which is what
is used to be self
aware. So you’re extracting the consciousness which is in the subconscious,
and then it’s pure, it goes back to the whole co
nsciousness. And you keep doing that with every
desire that emerges, so you bring back consciousness which was merged with darkness. And as
you do it, that fragment of consciousness, has the knowledge of the darkness that contained it.

And this is how you
get self
knowledge. It’s not by thinking about something; you get
knowledge and wisdom because you are extracting consciousness, light, from darkness, and
setting yourself free. Many people would like to be slaves of lust, but being a slave is not an
ligent way to live. It’s far better to be free, and being free, a person can be happy and

exual Desires and Their Effect Upon
Spiritual Development

Lust is more than a feeling, a desire, or an impulse of nature. It’s the foundation for all the
nimal drives that exist, and sex itself goes to the root and nature of creation. So if you want to
understand sex and lust and the impact it has on your life, you’ll have to seriously study yourself
and work esoterically, observing yourself very clearly, u
sing dreams, out
body experiences,
and alchemy.

On his visit to the second level of the inferno, Dante witnesses the souls of those overcome by
lust being blown around aimlessly and ceaselessly in a violent whirlwind, representing the power
of lust
and the lack of self

The complete understanding of lust and sex cannot be found through the mind; the mind itself is
composed of sexual energy. To understand sex and lust, you have to be able to go beyond the
mind, you have to go into internal wor
lds, to go deep into the subconscious, and to explore
various regions. To see the impact of lust, you have to be able to explore esoterically, to explore
things that can’t be seen with physical eyes.

Sexual desires have a profound impact upon the human psy
che, greatly affecting the way lives
are led. Lust can enslave a person and can make someone completely bound by its powers. It is
of course the foundation for family life as well, but it modifies itself in so many different ways,
bringing all kinds of var
iations of sexual energy; all the different sexual desires are all
modifications of the same sexual energy that alter from the simple male
female attraction and go
in a spiral in other directions as different desires are fed. As they feed, they change and
until the original simple desire is greatly modified, eventually becoming so altered it polarizes
the other way.

Q: Desire itself seems neither good nor bad, but what it makes you do depending on what is
inside of you gives desire its character, co
rrect? Lust and love seem to be two polarities of desire
to me if that makes sense. When the desire is selfish it becomes lust, but when it is selfless it
becomes love.

In a real sense, good are forces of light, bad are forces of darkness; so it’s things w
hich lead to
light or darkness. Essentially, good and bad come from that. I know there are different moral
standards, different moral codes and things, but good and bad essentially come from that. So if
we take light and then darkness, desire is simply a f
ormation of the creative energies in a way in
which attraction takes place. Now to say that it’s good or bad, ok, you can put judgments on it,
but you have to actually explore what it does, what light does, what darkness does, and what
desire is. You can’t

just make a judgment about it based upon the mind

you have to explore
these things fully.

Now, the rest of the issue there is whether it is actually something that benefits us ultimately, and
lust in itself is not a spiritually beneficial force. The attra
ctive energy is a necessary force, but the
multiple egos of lust are modifications of that energy which are to be worked upon and changed
so that desire becomes spiritual energy, because the nature of desire is not spiritual

the nature
of desire is animal.

So in its nature, it’s not good, it’s not of light. So, it’s not to be judged just upon what it makes a
person do, because what desire makes humanity do can be completely outrageous

apart from
just reproducing the species which is its intended purpose in
nature, it then creates all kinds of
modifications of that until you get to really awful manifestations of desire. Now, you might then
say, “Well, this part is good”, or, “It’s ok”, or, “We’re just putting judgments on it,” “But there’s
just desire”

no, th
e nature of desire in itself is of darkness, is of negative elements. And if you
can explore internally you’ll see this. It’s a completely modified version of sexual energy, which
(lust) is of darkness itself. And so in desire or lust then, if someone is i
n it, they’re in darkness.
We take that darkness and convert it into light, which is a completely different energy.

So if something of darkness is inside of us, then that’s going to come out, that’s going to
manifest, that’s going to form the character of
what one really is. And desire in itself then
doesn’t have anything good in its nature in the true spiritual sense, it has just that negative
energy. You have to understand what sexual energy really is and what desire really is and what
light and darkness
are, and you can only know that through inner investigation and exploration.
You can’t know it with the mind, you can’t know it by reading about it, or discussing it

have to explore, you have to find out what it’s really about. And that’s a very diffic
ult job and
people run away from that, they don’t want to face it

people are slaves to lust, completely just
slaves. So you need to explore properly as to what the nature of the human psyche is to see
what’s going on inside properly in the internal worlds.

And it takes a lot to do it, you’ve got to
explore, not read

then you know the nature of things and how they exist.

Is lust so well disguised that it can make you feel full of positive energy, when it actually just
wants you to fulfill its cravings? I fee
l I was tricked like this.

If you notice when people who are attracted to each other meet, there’s a lot of smiling and
pleasantness. Lust actually has an effect on the body, the sexual energies have a huge effect on
the brain, the psyche, the hormones, ev
erything, and that can give the impression of happiness
and falling in love, but it’s all part of the program of nature. It’s not true happiness.

So watch and explore and try and understand how this disguise works, how lust permeates the
psyche and alters it. Watch for the deception of it, because it takes over the psyche, the mind, the
brain, heart, and feelings, and it moves the psyche according t
o its desires and a person becomes
puppets of it and is in its control. It’s not easy to work on lust, and it’s not easy to understand it.
There are not many people who actually want to study or explore it fully. Lust knocks most out
of the work to reach e
nlightenment, most just cannot handle the work on it. You’ve got to
explore really well, otherwise it continues to have a terrible impact upon the psyche

no one can
be free with it. In its nature, it’s of darkness, it’s a modified energy of darkness, which

connected through the coccyx bone and goes down into the inferior dimensions (the abyss), the
energy then comes back up from the abyss into the psyche via the Kundabuffer

this has a
hypnotic effect on the psyche, and this energy permeating the whole ps
yche enslaves humanity,
locks each person down in those zones.

Years ago when I was starting the work on alchemy and had just begun the first mountain, I had
to descend to be able to ascend up the mountain, that’s an esoteric law. As part of that process I

went out of my body in the solar mental plane of the fifth dimension and explored through the
different regions of the earth, down through different zones, and I came to a cave, and in that
cave was the root of the egos, which is lust. It is the foundatio
n of every single ego and desire. At
the time I felt that I should run away from lust that I couldn’t face it, but that was wrong, I
should have stayed and explored it.

At the time I thought you had to run away from lust to be able to understand it. But la
ter as I’d
worked on it, I understood that you actually have to fight it. As I’ve said before, you have to
declare a war on lust. That’s the only way you’re going to actually beat it. It is a terrible war, one
that is so difficult to face, so hard to do, b
ecause it goes to the whole nature of what you are.
Sometimes when you are going through a test on lust as part of the initiations of the path, you
might think you’ve overcome something, that you’re staying away from things here in the three
dimensional wo
rld, but then once you go to sleep, in your subconscious

not even in a dream

but in levels of the subconscious you didn’t even know existed, there will be a desire, and that
desire is enough to make you fail.

By the way, someone asked can they meditate on
egos of lust, reflect on them deeply, and so on.
Well, you will end up feeding them like that. Technically you could do it, but in reality you’ll
just feed lust because it’s so powerful. It impregnates the mind, and once you activate the mind
with those eg
os, then they overcome it.

Lust takes over the whole of the psyche, so everything that you see and feel is all part of that
modified sexual energy. That’s why the human being is so spiritually stuck. Anyone can take
information and just regurgitate it

’s not to understand lust or sex. You have to be able to
observe very carefully in daily life, and not to be weak when it comes to understanding or facing
it. You’ve got to be very strong and courageous to face lust, and on the path, you’ll go through
s that are severe, really severe.

When you start to face these things it feels as though there’s no way you are going to be able to
do it. It just seems completely impossible to get into it, like you just can’t see how a desire can
be changed. But it can,
and that is due to the power of alchemy. That’s the force that can
transform, it takes that desire, and turns it into something spiritual. It turns it from the darkness
which is permeating the human psyche into consciousness, into light. Alchemy is the key

to this

It’s a terribly difficult thing to try to face because it tears you apart in every direction. You
cannot be passive and understand sex. A celibate can never understand sex, never, because all a
celibate is doing is cutting themselv
es off with one part of the psyche, which is anyway sexual
energy, from another, and that sexual energy goes in the subconscious. So beyond the person’s
conscious mind these desires are going on, and these desires will then produce dreams of a
sexual natur
e and will produce a distortion of sexual energy, because the energy is never static;
it’s alive, it’s life, it’s permeating in everything. And you either modify it and turn it into light, or
it has its own direction and it modifies the human being, and it

controls the human being. And
celibacy is just blindly shutting one’s eyes while the whole of this process is going on in the

the process of darkness, of enslavement.

Only alchemy and the destruction of the various forms of lust and then cont
rol of the substance
of sex and lust is the thing that can set a person free.

And to understand it you cannot simply use
the mind

the mind is part of it. To understand it you’ve got to practice alchemy, you’ve got to
explore in the internal worlds, you’ve

got to go through the esoteric tests of the path which
modify the whole way that the human psyche is formed. And each initiation gained brings its
own spiritual quality, and that quality helps in the war against lust. There are paintings and
statues of di
vine beings with swords, you gain a sword internally with the risen Kundalini (when
the Kundalini rises the Kundabuffer ends), that sword becomes a weapon against forces of
darkness, whoever walks along the path has to fight a war against their internal de
sires, and none
is bigger than lust.

To understand sex and lust requires walking the path, this is how you’re going to properly
understand it

not through reading about experiments on the human body, nor by analyzing it, or
reading religious scriptures abou
t it.